A lightbulb moment is so powerful because — in a flash — something becomes crystal clear. And it changes you.

Many years ago, I was a junior-level stockbroker at a large New York firm. The firm required me to go through an intense training program with my colleagues. On “graduation” night, a motivational speaker came to inspire us to be top sellers. To be at the top of our game.

This guy was good. I felt he was speaking directly to me when he said: “YOU have the power to be successful. It is up to YOU to figure out who you want to be. You have the power to be that person. No one is going to do it for you. And you have to do it every single day — not just when you feel like it.”

Wow! I instantly realized I would never settle for the status quo. I understood that I could — and should — always be improving, growing, evolving. To strive to be the best version of myself.

What about you? Are you letting life take you along for the ride? Comfortably settled in the status quo? Is it time to shake things up?

Only one person can turn your hopes, dreams, goals, or aspirations into reality: you. And not just any version of you. The best version of you.

Not sure who that person is? It’s time to discover her. And I’ll let you in on a little secret: Becoming the best version of yourself is NOT one big achievement or arrival point.

It’s a process, a way of thinking, a way of acting. The best you in any given moment is the one who is seeking to be better in some way.

1. CHALLENGE YOUR STATUS QUO

The best version of yourself won’t find you. You have to discover her. Sometimes she hides behind the familiar version of yourself. After all, she’s probably comfortable there. We all crave comfort. Even if comfort is not ideal. Even if it’s not serving you. So, you’ll have to get out of your comfort zone to unsettle yourself a bit.

Challenge your status quo by thinking about what could be different. Take the time to ask yourself some tough questions:

• What motivates you?
• What stops you from chasing your dreams?
• What makes you doubt your abilities or competence?
• What are your priorities?
• What would you do differently if no one were judging?

The minute you contemplate making a change, you are becoming the best version of you. Even when change makes you feel uncomfortable, like the irritating grain of sand that eventually becomes a pearl.

2. DEVELOP APPRECIATION FOR YOURSELF

Sadly, so many women struggle with self-approval, let alone self-appreciation. Too fat … too skinny … too this … too that …not pretty enough … not smart enough … not accomplished enough.

Have you ever paused and listened to how you talk to yourself? Would you speak that way to a good friend or your child? Probably not! So why talk to yourself in that way?

We criticize ourselves, trying to motivate ourselves to change. But that’s really not the best way.

“You have been criticizing yourself for years. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” – Louise L. Hay

1. Carve out some “me” time. Find a nice quiet, comfortable place to sit.
2. Pour yourself a cup of tea. Light a candle. Play some relaxing music. (Or do something else that relaxes you).
3. Get out your prettiest notecard (or favorite journal).
4. Write yourself a thank-you note, expressing gratitude for three or more things you appreciate about yourself.

Don’t worry that your self-appreciation is bragging or boasting. Chances are, you’re a long way from that!

Do take the time to recognize all the wonderful things that make you unique, special and deserving. Please, celebrate your accomplishments, big, small and in-between. Shift your focus, so you see yourself in a new, positive light.

You might feel strange at first. That’s okay. Self-criticism is probably more familiar than self-compassion, self-approval or self-appreciation. But remember, we’re challenging your status quo! It’s okay — and normal — to feel a bit different along the way.

3. COMMIT TO BECOMING THE BEST VERSION OF YOURSELF